Reflection

So, I've posting about what's happening, what's not, how India is treating me, how the job is going, frustrations, etc, etc. I thought I'd put down some thoughts as to how I have been affected by this move.
I've learned the definition of a 'developing country' and am sadfully amazed by the living conditions of even the "middle class" here. It's hard to see the homeless and poor as people for two reasons: language barrier and self-psychological defense. The former makes communication almost impossible, the latter stretches sympathy and compassion to their breaking points. Whether it's the little girl using the jagged curb as a pillow, or the old man with half his foot eaten away by disease and infection, it's easier to see them as "other people", but it angers me. Angers me that a country of +1billion people can't manage their money; taxes here are high, but nothing to show for them. Corruption is rampant. I am becoming more aware of the difficulties advanced nations have in helping the others.
I've also become aware of some personal adaptations and lessons. My patience is stretched thin by the society and work. Nothing runs smoothly, efficiently, or very quickly. I'm still struggling with work efficiency. I don't think I'll get used to the Indian way of functioning, for good or ill.
There aren't too many lessons that I haven't learned elsewhere; at KU, Denver, Prague or that boredom kingdom of Topeka. But here they are amplified and concurrent. Noise, discomfort, digestive problems, 'weird' food, vastly different society, language, electricity, water, pollution, transportation, isolation, crowdedness....it's taxing. I've learned that I don't have the tolerance I thought I had, or perhaps I need. Most days are 'ok', but some just send my temper flaring (some know my temper...like the old clubhouse). I've decided that's the one thing, if nothing else, I'm going to work on. At age 30 I started to manage it pretty well. And if I can do it here, doing so back home will be a flippin' breeze.
It's been tough here. I knew it would be, but didn't know exactly how. Now I know. Overall I'm glad I came. It can only get better, perhaps in very small increments, or with some back sliding, but the worst is over with (or at least fleeting). The decision of staying or leaving has yet to come, but will be based more on logic, career, and finances, and less so on comfort, mentality and want. Yet, those should not be discounted either.
I've also learned racism. Not out of hate or ill-will, but out of difference. Most of the expats find it easier to talk with Indian CEOs than with Western CEOs (or COO, HR, etc). We think it's because they are different looking. They don't look like the CEO on TV, or the ones we've met back home. On the basic level, it's racism...perhaps passive, I'm not sure yet.
So I'll ponder this among other things. The situation here isn't the best and I'll try to make the most of it in the months to come. The decision to stay or go should be easier by then.
Cheers.